He's Here!

Wednesday November 10, 2010 at 7:36 in the morning our baby boy was born.

On Tuesday at 1:30 in the morning Liv began having contractions. She was calm, I went to work. At 1:00 pm I came home. The contractions were 6-8 minutes apart. As planned we spent more time at the house relaxing and letting nature do its thing. At 9:00 pm Tuesday night her contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, that's when we went to the hospital. When we arrived we spent about an hour in triage where we found out that she was dilated to 3.5 centimeters. We moved into our birth room and set up for the experience. We packed a lot of stuff, food, decor, things to make it comfortable. We didn't even get a chance to open out bag. Liv was in the thick of it the moment we arrived. That's what we planned, do most of the laboring at home and get to the hospital for the finale. We had nurse who exemplified compassion. She was excellent with my wife, we owe her a lot of gratitude.
At 2:00 am Wednesday morning Liv was fully dilated and began pushing. At this point Liv had received no medication. My wife is the toughest person I know. She could definitely beat up all of your wives. She pushed for three hours with no progress. At 5:00 am the doctor came in and found that the baby was face up (they are supposed to be face down), this can cause many complications. Our doctor, who is very experienced and knowledgeable said that he could turn the baby. So he did. At this point my wife still had no medication, she was just dealing with the pain. Turning the baby was very painful for her. Once the baby was turned he dropped a bit more. After another hour of pushing the baby had still not made any more progress. I have never seen Liv so determined. She was ornery and diligent. She tried different positions looking for what worked best.
At 6:00 am the doctor came back in and suggested that we use a vacuum to assist the baby out. This was horrifying to Liv an I. We talked about other possible solutions. If we used the vacuum now Liv could still help push the baby. If we waited longer Liv would have no energy left and a c-section would be necessary. We waske dfor some more time to think. During that time Liv tried everything to get that baby to come out. At about 7:00 am we made the decision to use the vacuum. It was tough on both of us. I was crying, Liv was crying, even our nurse was crying who had stayed past her shift to help us.
Understand that my wife still had no medication in her body, nothing to numb the pain, nothing to make her more comfortable. Just her and her baby and the natural process of birth. Liv had been pushing for 5 1/2 hours. With the assistance of the vacuum and a bit of an epesiotomy our boy was born at 7:36 am Wednesday morning. When he came out he was not breathing well on his own. They took him to the nursery for observation, I followed our baby and left mom alone.

CJ and me in the nursery, this is the first time he opened his eyes.

Being in the nursery was difficult. All they did was monitor him and poke him a lot. I rushed back and forth between Liv's recovery room and the nursery. She was all alone in her room crying because she couldn't see her baby. Liv was given an IV of pitocen which helps the uterus to contract and stop the bleeding. The uterus typically contracts when the mother starts breast feeding, but Liv couldn't do that because CJ was in the nursery and she had to be in her recovery room. I would then rush back to the nursery because I didn't want to leave CJ alone. The nurses messed up three times taking his blood. They said he couldn't be released until his blood tests were back. After they messed up the third test, I had him in my arms and wouldn't let them poke him anymore. I told them what he needed most was his mom and he wouldn't have anymore test until he was with his mom. I kinda caused a scene in the nursery, but I didn't know what else to do. So the nurses made arrangements for my wife to be brought into the nursery. Once she was there with her baby, that's when everything was alright. That's when the calmness and serenity set it. That's when we finally took a step back and looked at what we had made.

Mom and baby shortly after being reunited after a long labor and birth.

Once all the stress full stuff was over my parents arrived and provided additional support, but mostly they just wanted to hold their first grand-baby. We stayed at the hospital till Friday morning just because Liv was still weak, my insurance paid for it, and we didn't have to clean up after ourselves. It was almost like a vacation.

Liv and CJ relaxing and recouping at the hospital

People say that the moment your child is born you feel something intense and spiritual. I didn't feel that. I thought that maybe I missed something. Then it came. It wasn't until we got home and it was just the three of us. With all three of us in our house, close together, I felt what I had heard about. It's hard to explain. It's like feeling every emotion you have ever felt all at once. I feel like any further explination would just degrade the overall emotion, so I will leave it at that.

All safely gathered in

more pics from the norht rim

Here are some more pics of the same trip

The black ninja sneaks away for a morning pee in on the north rim

Overlooking the Grand Canyon

Liv hiking the Rainbow Rim Trail

Chasing the sun set on the Rainbow Rim Trail

Watching the sun set over the Grand Canyon was amazing. Arizona has some really spectacular sun sets, and they're always better when your with someone.

36 weeks and the North Rim

Liv is now 36 weeks pregnant. The kid is huge! He's kicking around and moving. While we were on a walk last night Liv almost feel over from what we could only classify as a round house kick administered by our little bundle of joy.

Last week end I took a bit of time off work and we went to the north rim of the Grand Canyon. When I asked my co-worker where to take my pregnant wife to go camping the most common answer was "nowhere!" But we did get some good advice about some Forest Service land just outside the National Park boundary. We started off our trip with a Forest Service employee family day in Payson AZ, from there we spent a night at Mormon Lake, then went up to Jacob Lake and the Grand Canyon. Liv is a champ! Even being almost 9 months pregnant she wanted to go camping. She said "I can be uncomfortable in our bed, or I can be uncomfortable outside." She helped me with everything. She always set up the tent, always layed out our bags, she is my favorite person to road trip and camp with.

This is our camp site at Mormon Lake. The sun set was amazing. The thing that makes Liv a fun person to go camping with is that she finds joy in simplicity. As we have started car camping more and backpacking less, she still encourages me not to pack to much, and only bring what we need, or she'll try to do with out.

Us, just north of Mormon Lake

The first morning we woke up and went for a walk. It was so nice nice to feel cold. Fall is great. We don't get weather like this in Mesa, so we were ecstatic about cool autumn walks.

Us resting our weary feet at a park in Flagstaff, in route to the north rim

Old truck in Flagstaff
If I ever find a girl that loves old trucks and will go camping while 9 months pregnant, I will never let her get away, oh wait, I did find her.

34 weeks

We are approaching the arrival of our first child. Many, many people have been through this before us. This is not uncharted ground, the last frontier or anything that will be in next years Guinness Book of World Records. But for us it is. For us it is uncharted territory. For us if means new joys and pains that we have heard about, but from the same mouths hear that we will never understand. We hear we will never understand till we do it for ourselves. So hear we go. I don't now what is harder to accept: the fact that this little boy may be completly opposite from me, enjoying thing that I can't understand; or the fact that he might be just like me, stubborn, fiercely independent for no reason, and a sucker for a pretty face. Speaking of a pretty face, my wife is amazing. I hope so much that he is like his mother; calm and peaceful, gentle and understanding, dignified and respectful. Liv worked her last day at the day-care on Friday. She is now a committed full time mom, which sometimes she is nervous about. Sometimes I am nervous about providing for a wife and child. Like I have stated before, we try to take turns freaking out so we don't both crash at the same time.
It's amazing how choices liberate us. The world teaches that by avoiding choices, and thus responsibility, we present ourselves with more freedoms. I disagree. The Lords plan is for us to progress. When we choose to follows God's law we are happy, if we are continuously progressing and experiencing happiness then we are living God's plan. When we live in accordance to God's plan we are free to chose the destiny of our souls. True freedom is obtained through obedience.
When this new little guy coming into our lives I am so glad that he will have a mother like Liv. She is getting into the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. Our boy is always moving around in there. My favorite thing to do is put my hand on her stomach and wait for him to kick it off, which he will do. He is very active and we spend a lot of time reading to him, talking to him, singing him songs (usually off key), and just watching him move around. I think the most difficult part of this stage is accepting that anything can happen, but not knowing what will happen.

Liv had been doing a great job at preparing for labor. She is keeping track of her diet making sure she is getting enough food for the baby. She is doing exercises that will prepare her for labor. We have taken a tour of the hospital, we have drafted a birth plan (that we still need to revise. We have the car seat in the car. We almost have all of our bags packed. I am experiencing a feeling like I have not experienced before. On other adventures in life I have either known what to expect, or known what to do when it all goes wrong. Right now I don't know what to expect, or what to do if it all goes wrong, but I have never been so excited.



Liv at 27 weeks



Liv at 31 weeks



Mama and Papa Clark and Liv (AZ 9/12/2010)



Liv at a typical Arizona art show talking with the artists



Liv at her favorite place

IT"S A BOY (that's right...all caps) !!!!

We had an ultra sound done today and the results are in, we are having a baby boy. It was a very unique experience as Liv laid there and the technician showed us all the parts of our baby. She let me tap on Liv's belly and you could see on the monitor where I was tapping, then our little boy would respond by kicking or squirming. We saw his hands, his arms, his feet, his heart, his brain. We could see his face and watched him open and close his mouth. I know the wonders of human development are not new, but they are to me, so I will revel in all the glory that is my developing son. He is amazing. This whole plan is amazing. The fact they our Heavenly Father permits us to take part in the process of bringing his children into this terrestrial world opens my eyes to the glory and great completeness of His plan of happiness. Today it became real to me. I've been sparked with an excitement that I'm sure is annoying to other people. I want to tell everyone that we are having a boy. Boys are born every minute of every day all over the world, mine is nothing new..... but it is to me, and I will glory in this excitement to the fullest degree possible.

I know everyone thinks their wife is beautiful, but mine really is. Look at her. 5 months pregnant and she is glowing with womanhood. She is working very hard at eating well for the baby and she makes sure she gets plenty of exercise. She's been doing a personal yoga practice that focuses on poses for mothers to be. She hasn't found a place or studio that she feels passionate about practicing with, so she marches forward on her own perusing the things that make her happy. Liv is working full time at a pre-school working with the infants. She loves and hates her job every day but we both think that after taking care of 5 babies at a time, one will be a cake walk. I know that there are a life time of stresses ahead of us but for right now, in this moment, I want to cherish the excitement we feel. I want to bottle it and store it away in the cupboar d. I would open it up when the hard times. I would open it up when my priorities are not in harmony with our values. I would open it up when we question why we even had children. For now I will enjoy the excitement and anticipation. I will bask in my wife's beauty. I will live this moment like it won't last, because it wont. One of the things I love about Liv is how she can live in the moment, good or bad, she faces what is present and lives it. The adventure before us is awesome, and I'm glad Liv and I are together as we face it. I know have two "loves of my life" Liv and our new baby boy.

19 week bump

12 weeks in an uncharted land

Let me just for a moment talk about how courageous my wife is. Within the first 48 hours of being married to me she survived an almost-fatal, wintry, driving escapade where my truck spun into a junk show on ice, and she faced off toe to toe with a grizzly bear. You would think after that she would be leery of following me anywhere. But she is not so easily stunned. When I told here I got a job in Mesa all she said was "I go where you." Really? After all that I have put her though in our short time together? She still says "I go where you go." Where does she get this kind of courage? This is her moments before facing off with one of Yellowstone's finest... grizzly bears.



So her she is 12 months pregnant in a strange place away from every thing that is familiar. It is hard for both of us at times. Liv seem to be doing well with the pregnancy, no morning sickness or nausea. Occasionally she'll need some food or to sit down, but she seems to be doing well. I really thing she is a brave person. That's what I've learned about her recently. While soft and tender, she is very brave. Taking on this task of having a baby away from family and friends is difficult, but she is tackling it well. Sometimes it gets to be too much and she'll have a breakdown, sometimes I have a breakdown. We're trying not to breakdown at the same time.

objective/purpose

I am not a blogger. I do like to write, or at least I used to. From 2003 to 2006 I kept journals. An in depth look at past entries reveals that I mostly enjoyed documenting new adventures and travels. Trips were recorded with good detail and typically followed by an emotional connection to the experience. Ideas that were new and revolutionary to me at the time were recorded like they were modern revelation. I have found it difficult to continue with my typical journal entries. I realize that these scribbles were simply the result of a boy in his early twenties discovering life, and that they were not so different from any other wonder-lusting, Muir-loving, middle-class-vagabond, baby-boomer-offspring. My love for writing has been encompassed in the discovery of adventure. I feel the the documentation of discovering adventure has been thoroughly covered in my past writings. I have found a new passion.

This is a blog about my wife. In the year that we have been married I have grown to love my wife more than when I married her. While this new revelation my be cliche or ordinary to others, it is new and unique to me. This new kind of emotion is what forces me to this keyboard. I have heard that love can grow, but I have never experienced it until now.

Liv and I are expecting our first child. As I watch her take on this new, difficult, selfless challenge, it makes me love her more. All that Liv has done for me has created a new emotion that needs an outlet. This blog will follow the process of my lovely wife and our unborn child. Along the way I will write about what makes her great, and why I love her.